The good, the bad and the trashy

Jeyonce

2011-10-22T14:27:00.001-07:00

So Beyonce is pregnant now... which means finally she has a good excuse for being chubby... For all of you who want to know what the baby will look like I have great news now! The Good, The Bad and The Trashy already has a photo of Jeyonce. Which means: FIRST! In your face!@ People and Us Weekly!

So...Do you like Vintage Clothing?

2011-06-19T13:10:00.000-07:00

You do? Then the Kelly Family might have something in their closet for you. If not then you can always take a potato sack, cut a hole in it and throw it on. Aside from their trash bag style the Kelly Family's music is also the epitome of trash for your ears. Which makes the Kellies ear and eye trash!

Stripper Heels

2011-05-18T13:24:00.000-07:00

I only have one simple question! What is it that men like about these transparent plastic stripper shoes?

Shorts over Tights

2011-05-10T10:44:00.000-07:00

Why do so many girls wear shorts over tights these days? Do they really think it looks good? Well then I need to tell them: NO, IT DOESN'T! It looks trashy, like you can't afford a pair of full length pants. Shorts have been invented to be worn on warm days. Tights as we all know them have been invented for women to wear under a skirt/dress when the weather is not really good. So you see: shorts = good weather and skirt/dress + tights = not so good weather. But what's the point in combining shorts with tights if you can wear a 'normal' pair of trousers? It neither looks very individual nor very cute, it's boring. If combined with leggings the look gets even worse and on most girls it looks like two trunks are sticking out of the shorts even if they're not fat. And I don't care if the shorts are made of denim or tweed or whatever, this look always sucks! Next time you consider wearing shorts over tights or leggings with ballet flats then also consider that everyone will secretly be laughing about you because in the ballet flats you have a strange walk which will be highlighted extremely with this combination. So please either wear your shorts with naked legs or your tights with a skirt or a dress. Please don't mix shorts and tights. And NEVER wear leggings!!!

Are you looking for a skirt to match some tights of yours? Visit K and Co by going to www.kandco.com to visit the great collection of skirts for you to look at, and find one in a style you like.

Amber Rose

2011-04-06T14:21:00.000-07:00

Amber Rose is the ex-girlfriend of superpussy Kanye West. She has no taste, no class, no style. I don't know why she gets invitations to fashion shows from so many designers. Who wants something like that sitting front row at a runway show? Same goes for Kanye West - he's either dressed like any other preppy boy from the Harvard rowing team or like a clown. I don't see what's supposed to be so great about his style, he looks like shit and that's not because of his skin colour. He might read this now as he's probably googling himself all the time but I don't care. Someone had to tell him that he looks like shit! Amber Rose probably just gets invited to all these fashion events because she was dancing on Kanye's pole. You can take the girl out of the strip club but you can't take the strip club out of the girl or how they say. You get what I mean: A stripper will always remain a stripper even if she stops dancing. Look at Amber Rose and you know what I'm talking about.

Beige Chinos

2011-03-28T12:46:00.000-07:00

Last summer I really liked them. But now everyone is wearing beige chinos and I'm sick of them already before the summer even started. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing really trashy about them - they're just so omnipresent and I'm boooooooooooored! Every redneck girl is wearing a beige chino now from boring verticals like Esprit, H&M or Zara. It's gone from class to mass and now the trend is over already but the mainstream people don't get that. Too bad...

Looking for a trashy Xmas present?

2010-11-28T05:50:00.000-08:00

Then I found something perfect for you! Here's the trailer park Barbie that comes with three kids from three different Ken dolls and is also equipped with Marlboros, a bottle of Jack, Mac&Cheese and two sixpacks of Budweiser.

Oompa Loompa or why being pale has more class

2010-11-23T11:02:00.000-08:00

'Hey there Oompa Loompa!' Tan in a tube or other fake tan is the cheapest way to get some colour on your skin and certainly looks like that. Whether you spray it on, rub it in or frequent the tanning booth daily you'll always look a splotched carrot. And if you have dimples you must be careful that people don't confuse your butt with an oversized orange. Look at all these people who spent too much time in a tanning booth! They all look like their skin is wizened leather. Of course fake tan is cheaper than going on vacation but that's why it's mostly used by cheap people you don't want to be associated with. So please stay away from it and save the money you wanted to invest in a bottle of fake tan for a nice trip to the south. These days it's like in the past centuries again when being pale meant having class. If you look at all the orange tanned bimbos and bimbettes you'll understand what I'm talking about.

White (faux leather) boots

2010-11-15T13:42:00.000-08:00

Most white boots can be described with only one word: TRASHY! If you're going for the whore look all you need to do is to put on a mini skirt and combine it with white faux leather boots. Even worn over pants white boots make a cheap slutty look and therefore can mostly be seen on cheap looking sluts with no manners and no class. It's the kind of shoe preferred by bitches with a very orange tan, muffin top and cheap hair extensions (often very blond mixed with black and sometimes a few pink hightlights) that like to f*ck Mediterranean guys with mullets. The hardcore ones like their white boots with buckles and extra thin stiletto heels in plastic. So if you don't want to be associated with something like that buy a pair of black leather boots!

Worst song of all times! Black Eyed Peas - The Time

2010-11-07T10:42:00.000-08:00

As if the original version from the 80's and 'Dirty Dancing' aren't trashy enough already the Black Eyed Peas managed to take TRASH to a new level with their new song 'The Time'. It's music for the Ed Hardy crowd that manages to sound even worse than David Guettas shit.
If you want to vomit, bang your head against the wall again and again or even kill yourself right away then listen to this. I don't take any responsibility for any damages that might be caused by this!

Biker Shorts & Leggings

2010-09-24T15:03:00.000-07:00

After the awful leggings trend that's been going on for too long already it was inevitable that the next awful relict of past times would be dug out by the fashion industry - the biker short. As if leggings weren't unflattering enough on most of the women wearing them the biker short is even worse. It adapts to every dimple on the thigh and makes almost every leg look like a short tree. I'm so sick of the leggings everywhere, especially of the ones with print and most girls in leggings are insulting my eyes because they don't have the physique to wear them. I'm certain that the biker short won't become as widely accepted but it's bad enough that it's presented to the public as a new cool trend. It's definitely not a cool trend - it should be forbidden to sell biker shorts in any shop that is not selling special cycling gear. Even though you might be blinded by the media right now and considering to get a pair please reconsider and do not support that trash! Go back to trousers and jeans! Well I'm sort of okay with jeggings and leggings that look more like very skinny pants if the person wearing it is slender enough for it. And of course you can wear biker shorts when you're participating at the Tour de France. But with all the doping scandals cycling is so yesterday anyway....

Diego Maradona

2010-06-18T08:22:00.000-07:00

Even though he was a great football player back in the 80's and early 90's Maradona has always been a psycho freak. His involvment with drugs caused him a lot of trouble already including the suspension from professional football in 1994. After his career as a player ended in such an embarrassing way he became fat and even more psychopathic than before and also checked in at quite a few hospitals over the last years. In 2008 Argentina was so nice to give him another chance and made him the coach of their national football team which he led to World Cup in South Africa. This apparently made him so happy that he managed to surpass himself in an even more excessive manner

Totally drunk with a self made bald patch

2010-04-27T14:31:00.001-07:00

This is a video I've made last Halloween. There was this totally drunk guy who shaved his head to create an old man's bald patch. If this weren't ridiculous enough he's also been wearing red shorts, a tank top and flip-flops with white tennis socks. It was freezing cold but he was so drunk that he didn't really care. Unfortunately the video is very dark, but he was so wretched that I need to share this here.

Is this the trashiest song ever?

2010-04-19T14:03:00.000-07:00

Yes it is!

Please be aware that I'm not responsible for any damage that might be done to your ear-drum!

Joisey Shore 2

2010-04-15T11:35:00.000-07:00

Look at this Joisey Shore bimbo. And tell me what is NOT wrong about this whole THING in the photo! How many trashy things can you find in this picture?

And here's another one. By the way... Is that guy a Gotti?

Let's go down the shore... JOISEY SHORE!

2010-04-13T11:35:00.000-07:00

'Going down the shore' is the Joisey way of saying 'going to the beach'. Everyone in Nu Joisey is going down the shore, especially in summer when it's hot and humid. New Joisey also known as the Garden State is the most commonly ripped star on the USA flag and always the victim of bad jokes and snide remarks. So as Nu Joisey is the joke of the US nation, also has a bad call abroad and people there are going down the shore it's obvious that the Joisey shore is the perfect location for filming a bunch of primates. At least that's what the people responsible for the program on TCFKAMTV (the channel formerly know as Music TeleVision) think, if they think at all these days. So they decided to torture the view viewers they have left with Jersey Shore - a 'Reality TV Show' that follows a bunch of bimbos and bimbettes doing trashy shit at the Joisey shore. If you thought it can't get worse and even more brainless and tasteless after you've seen The Real World, Laguna Beach, The Hills, The City, A Shot at Love, A double Shot at Love, The Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, 16 and Pregnant and It's Amore then let me tell you IT CAN GET WORSE!!! Joisey Shore first gives you the impression that you're watching a documentary of primates in their natural habitat. As the bimbos and bimbettes on Joisey Shore all have an extreme (shitty looking) tan you think why is MTV filming orang-utans and gorillas during their mating time? Then you see that the orang-utans and gorillas are dressed in very cheap looking polyester, trash hardy clothes and that some of them have really bad hair extensions and you realise MTV did not turn into Discovery Channel and you ask yourself if they're trying to create a show whose level is even further below the Jerry Springer Show. The answer is: YES THEY DO! So I recommend you press the OFF-button on your remote instead of watching these pieces of crap while they're f*cking, dancing, fighting and doing the other stuff that life without brain does. And if you feel the need of going down the shore of Nu Joisey yourself then I'd recommend Beach G on Sandy Hook. But be aware that you might encouter nude people there behind a certain point and they play beachvolleyball and are waiting in line at the hot dog stand - that's Joisey Shore at its best! And if you're afraid but still want to get some Nu Joisey then just watch The Sopranos...

Flower Crotch

2010-04-08T11:47:00.000-07:00

Want to deflower him?

Faux leather jackets

2010-04-06T12:50:00.000-07:00

I detest faux leather jackets and lately I see people wearing them wherever I go. They look just as cheap as they are and create a trashy overall impression. And many of them are made of materials that can cause cancer or other damage to your health. Mostly I see the style with rib-knit trim that you can get in every major retail chain store and its combined with skinny jeans on not-so-skinny girls with very short legs that are stuffed in white pointy boots. I just named this look the Hollywoodturk-Girlfriend-Überbitch-Look and will do an extra post about the complete thing soon. Well back to the faux leather jackets now. I know real leather often requires some $$$ but that doesn't justify buying faux leather jackets because they simply look bad! There are many good looking jackets made of fabric out there so there's no need to go for the faux leather shit. And if you're a vegetarian/vegan then tell me why you would want something that resembles dead animal skin????

Verticalisation at its best

2010-04-06T09:51:00.000-07:00

Kiss me, Baby!

2010-03-23T12:42:00.000-07:00

The pout is a symbol of feminine beauty and many men dream of women like Angelina Jolie and Brigitte Bardot who are famous for their full lips. Like it is with most beautiful things also the pout is something many people desire. And there's something that can help them make their dream of sexy lips come true: Collagen! With plastic surgery the pout is only one injection away. The only problems is that there are slight differences between the Bardot's pout and the collagen-enhanced lips - the latter of them don't look anything like lips anymore but instead look like there's a rubber boat in the middle of your face! There's nobody with lip injections who looks anything like Angelina Jolie but instead they look like bizarre exhibits of a freak show. I've never seen anyone with pumped up lips who looked good with it and I don't understand why women are still getting collagen injections. Their faces look distorted and combined with an overdose of botox and a face lift they look totally deformed like monstrosities in a zombie movie tucked together by Dr. Frankenstein. Just look what collagen can do to a woman like Hunter Tylo (Bold & Beautiful) - she's disfigured now! It's so disgusting and I'm quite sure that some day one of these lips will burst like a water balloon. And then the collagen and blood will be all over the tuxedo of the Russian oligarch millionair who paid for the 'pout'.

Ever wanted to french kiss a rubber boat? As an endless number of women are turning to their docs to get their lips pumped up you have numerous possibilities to experience how it feels to stick your tongue between balloons that are trying to suck you in. Here are some possible candidates I picked for you!

If you don't like trashy...

2010-03-10T11:59:00.001-08:00

... then visit The Good, The Bad and The Divine!

Fast Food

2010-03-06T10:55:00.000-08:00

Why do people still eat fast food even though everyone knows how unhealthy it is and that it can make you fat? You eat a complete meal and after one or two hours you're hungry again. So why eat this crap? Isn't food supposed to still your hunger instead of making you hungry again? If you take a burger bun and squeeze it together it has the size of a munchkin, so how is this supposed to fill your stomach? Well maybe it has a sponge effect which is even more disgusting and doesn't last for long. Look at the meat, it's flat and looks like a car rolled over it, how's that supposed to be substantial? The french fries are bathed in fat and so are the chicken nuggets and all the other fried shit. The salad sauce is just like pure fat mixed with sugar and the ham, eggs and cheese in the salad look and taste chemical. Ever looked at the salad, tomato and pickle on a burger? And ever seen the PETA movie about KFC? Aside from the way KFC treats the chickens you just need to look at their food and it makes you vomit! And take a fast food pizza and hold it in a vertical way, the fat will just drip down and you have an oily puddle on your paper plate. Paper plate brings me to the next point! Look at all the unnecessary packaging of the trash food. Everything is in an extra box. Why? And walk by a fast food 'restaurant' - which doesn't deserve to be called restaurant - when they put out the garbage bags. They're just piling up and destroy our environment. Most people just throw their empty boxes and bags on the street which is even worse. They're pigs! Trees are cut off for all this paper waste and the trash they make afterwards pollutes the earth even more! Why can't they serve their shit on porcelain or other washable dishes inside and pack the stuff to go in less boxes? If all fast food places would do that it would make a big impact on the environment and save tons of money. When I was in school there was only one fat kid in each class, now half of a school class is overweight. Why is that you wonder? Because parents are too lazy to cook and instead feed their kids with Trashy Meals and pizza slices. Go into a fast food place and look at the people - at least 70% will be overweight! Why is the US the fatest nation of the world? Because they invented fast food and love stuffing themselves with unhealthy shit (not everyone of course but too many)! Currently the same share of people get sick from being overweight like the ones that get sick from smoking. Experts say in a few years it will be even more than smokers! So stop eating this trash and start thinking about your nutrition!

FUgg Boots

2009-11-11T04:49:00.000-08:00

I don't care how comfy they are, how warm they are or how expensive they are! Ugg Boots, along with Crocs, are the ugliest shoes that have ever been created! When I see them with leggings tucked into them it makes me want to puke! The worst thing is that people are still wearing them even though the FUggs have been over 5 years ago (at the same moment they became big). Only because everyone is wearing them doesn't make them look any better! Putting clumps on your feet doesn't make a cool or sexy look, it makes you look like a clown. And walking like a lump isn't sexy either! So tell me: WHY ARE YOU WEARING UGG BOOTS???

GROOVE SHADES

2009-05-23T14:42:00.000-07:00

Ray Ban is cool, Oakley is cool. But Groove Shades are defenetly not cool. Have you ever seen this silly "shades"? Absolut ugly. And only the fact, that mr. kanye west wear them, should not let you have the idea, to buy some of this supercool plastic "shades". They let you look like a f***ing clown. Did you recognized that? Take the money, and burn it, instead buying such crap. That makes defenetly more sense.

PLAYBOY

2009-05-21T12:56:00.000-07:00

Hey, i´m back. With one of my favorite topics: PLAYBOY ACCESOIRES AND "FASHION"... I love the playboy. I like the girls inside, the centerfold and of curse the articles. YES, I read the articles. Belive it or not. But with the magazine there comes some bad side effects... The fashion, The jewelry... That would be not sooo bad, if only girls like kendra wilkinson, holly madison or bridget marquardt wear this stuff. They fit in this stuff. But the most girls, who wears it, are anything else then playmates. Or have you ever seen an 200 pound playmate? Me not. The other type are this kind of girls, who have a tramp-stamp above their asses... Bitches. That kind, that hang out with the hollywoodturks or the krochers (See first blog). Ok. Here is the most important thing, i have to say about this kind of clothing: Only the reason, that you wear it, dosen´t mean, that you are a playmate. It does not change you into one. I know, the truth is not always beautiful.
But there is something much worster than girls, that should not wear this stuff: Boys, who wear playboy stuff. Hey, are you a man or a pussy. It does not let you look harder, if you have a playboy bunny earrings, with unreal stones in it. Or a playboy belt buckle ore a superfancy playboy watch.
Ok, pussys see you soon

Wearing FAKES

2009-04-15T11:59:00.000-07:00

How poor is that, when you buy fakes? There are two ways to buy desinger fashion: first one: You can afford that shit... Second one: You can not afford it. In this case, it is how it is. Is it so important, that you even buy fakes? Don´t you think, it is a bit cheap? Don´t you think, there is a reason, why the desinger take so much money for their shit? They put their heartblood in their collections. (I don´t mean Christian Audigier...)
And there are many reasons, why I would never buy such stuff:
Everyone will notice it, that it is a fake. They use silly designs (Dolce&Gabbana would never do an all-over-print with their name on a shirt)
The quality is so bad, put the clothing 3 times into the washer... after that, the only thing, you can do with your cool and cheap thing is, put it in your trash can.
Or put it your drier... After that, you can put it on your doll, because you have size zero in your shirt.
The last reason, even if i could afford me an original LV bag (Not for me, for my girlfriend as a present...) I would never buy one, cause every cool chick got a fake LV,... And everyone would think, that my girlfriends bag is a fake, too...
So far so good.

Juicy Couture

2009-04-15T07:10:00.000-07:00

How can you call a tracksuit label Juicy COUTURE?? The bright coloured Juicy trash is further away from couture than polar bears from South Africa. Every suburban teen girl spending too much time at homogeneous shopping malls wears that shit and is proud of it. How can you be proud of trackpants with the word juicy in enormous letters stretched all over your butt? (Of course it's even worse when you see it on a fat butt....) Why would anyone want to walk around in overpriced trashy clothes that became famous because Paris Hilton and Britney Spears are wearing them???

Ed Hardy

2009-04-13T09:20:00.000-07:00

Do you noticed the Tribal-Tattoo-T-Shirts? I was glad, that this "trend" was over. But this trend was replaced trough an other "trend"... You now, what im talking about... Ed Hardy. It all started with super fancy caps with sparkling stones on it. Why do a man have to wear unreal diamonds on a cap. I think, it is very pussy-like. Please don´t misunderstand me. I love Tattoos. I got many collectet on my skin. But I don´t understand, that Don Ed Hardy sold his soul to the devil aka. Christian Audigier. He is calling himself a Desingner. But why? It is not a big thing, to print oldschool tattoo desings on simple T-Shirts? And there is NO reason, really no reason, to pay 120 bucks and more for an T-Shirt. FOR A SHIRT. Me, as a tattoo fanatic, would rather use the money for a real tattoo. But the most people, that wear Ed Hardy, even don´t have the nuts, to get a real tattoo. Why? Because it hurts, sucker.
And remember that, it is not cool in any way, even if the "stars" like Britney, Madonna or Ja Rule wear that shit. C´mon. Don´t you have an own style? And you don´t become a "star" only wearing that.
And why do this world need Ed Hardy Coffee, Ed Hardy sweets, Ed Hardy Drinks, Ed Hardy Toys... And the best thing, I saw: A Ed Hardy Smart (little german car). Do they think, it makes a uncool car cooler? If yes, her is the truth: It does not make it cooler. No. It just makes it more expensive.
Does anybody really knowes, who Ed Hardy really is? If not, i´m telling you: He is a Tattoo Artist. Not a desinger, what everybody thinks. He was born in 1945 in Iowa. He startet tattooing beside studying in the late sixties. He still runs a Tattoo Studio in San Francisco.

Celebrity clothing lines

2009-04-13T05:08:00.000-07:00

I'm so sick of so-called 'celebrities' starting their own clothing lines. What makes them think they are qualified for that? One outfit (chosen by a stylist!!!) on the best-dressed list?? Young designers are struggling to survive and these already overpaid people just print their names on some tacky stuff to earn even more money. On one hand they're supporting charity causes and on the other they let children in sweatshops produce their 'collections'. What's even worse about it is that people are stupid enough to buy that shit!
And... if you're a 'celeb' with no talent at all you just bring out a jewellry collection....

Harem pants

2009-04-12T14:57:00.000-07:00

Lately I've seen girls running around in harem pants everywhere. It's not cool to walk around and look like you just shat in your pants. The trousers look unfavourable unless you have the legs of a supermodel. Stumpy legs are so not sexy!! So please don't wear them if you're not A) a supermodel, B) from India or Arabia or C) an actress playing a 1001 nights princess!!!!!

Fauxhawks

2009-04-12T11:28:00.000-07:00

Why would anyone want to look like this?

Over the last few years the Fauxhawk gained popularity in some European countries (most notably in Austria and Germany). It all started out with David Beckham who sported this (un)do first. Another famous representative of the fauxhawk is Portugese football player Christiano Ronaldo who's still wearing it. On the streets you can see this trashcut mainly on people who spent too much time on a tan bed and are wearing Ed Hardy clothes. They're usually showing up in groups and I think the one with the highest hair on top of the head is the leader of the gang aka the super-cock. In Austria they're called 'Krocha', in Germany 'Hollywoodturks'. All that the Austrian Krocha care for is party and all that the German Hollywoodturks care for is fighting. Their faces always show a certain stupidity and they're always trying to act quite tough. But they are not tough at all that's why they're wearing their tattoos on t-shirts and trucker hats!

If you look like this then go and seek some help!!!!!!!